He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
