1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
