I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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