your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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