Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
