So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
