I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize