You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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