Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
