i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
