i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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