Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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