Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
