Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
stop calling my apartment porn island.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
