Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I believe in your delicious
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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