I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
