when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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