Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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