Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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