He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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