I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Found the puke drawer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
