i think my tv is drunk
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Mom said you looked used
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
