someone get that fucking seahorse.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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