is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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