Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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