office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
