Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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