My friends, they love my intelligence
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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