remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
