quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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