We won't sleep together?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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