Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
