The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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