I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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