Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
