ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
