mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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