And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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