Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
