I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize