yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
