Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
