So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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