How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
