Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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