In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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