I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
