I wanna passion pit in your ass
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
