I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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