Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
