im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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