Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
