Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
