I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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